When Someone We Love Has Died

Someone we loved so much has died. It can be hard to know where to turn. For religions, dying was regarded as an essential, immensely important, part of existence; it was…

Why Did They Leave Us?

They’ve gone – and what we need most of all to understand is why? What is striking is that, despite what friends and well-meaning acquaintances tell us, we already know. It…

How to Break Up

The intensity and suffering exacted by a heartbreak depends not only on the core fact that we’ve been left; it also decisively depends on how we’ve been left. Our hurt can…

How We Can Have Our Hearts Broken Even Though No One Has Left Us

It sounds paradoxical: that we can be heartbroken even though a lover is still with us. And yet, it’s not so strange, because the source of heartbreak is not precisely the…

The Psychology of Our Exes

We are likely to be focused, in the immediate circumstances of a break-up, on what happened in the last few weeks or months to explain the end of a relationship. But…

'Unfair Dismissal' in Love

Our lover has hurt us deeply. Our suffering is at least comparable to being robbed or physically assaulted. This hurts a lot more than someone stealing our phone or bicycle. However,…