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We are sometimes puzzled by how frequently we find ourselves in love with people we know are not going to be good for us, but who mirror the disturbing patterns of our attachments from early childhood.
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There are perhaps five main features of the very sad, indeed hellish, condition we know as paranoiaā¦
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As masochists, we āloveā pain for being profoundly familiar; we love it for taking us home.
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Conflict-aversion doesnāt just mean a distaste for a fight, it means a radical inability to get involved in a struggle of any sort because we are insufficiently on our own side.
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It may not be an encounter with a catastrophic event that we are worried about so much as a return of catastrophic feelings.
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Itās commonly assumed that people kill themselves because something has gone dramatically wrong in their life. But the truth is more nuanced and more psychological: people take their own lives because of the way they interpret events.
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Self-Knowledge
It takes a very tough and very loving person to be able to get through to the shamed person and to tell them what they have always needed to hear: āYou are not a bad person; you just had a very, very bad childhood.ā
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