It can be painfully scary to ask a partner if they still love us. So at points when we feel insecure, we may be tempted to go in for a very understandable but very counter--productive strategy: attention-seeking, that is irritating or nagging them to notice us, rather than making ourselves sufficiently vulnerable to ask them for the reassurance we crave.



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It would be a great deal more honest – and a lot more liberating – to accept that we do of course spend a lot of our lives lying in one way or another – and to grow generously sympathetic to, and curious about, the reasons why we do so. Read More