Relationships
Why We All End up Marrying Our Parents
One of the most superficially familiar but enduringly striking (even shocking) ideas bequeathed to us by psychoanalysis is that we…
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Self-Knowledge
Self-Forgiveness
Our refusal to forgive ourselves for our mistakes tends to hang on a strong sense of how much these were,…
Self-ForgivenessSelf-Knowledge
Why We Must Have Done Bad to Be Good
There is a paradox at the heart of what it means to be a loving person. On the one hand,…
Why We Must Have Done Bad to Be GoodSociability
Why Misfits Make Great Friends
Once we have given up on the poisonous goal of respectability, we will at last be ready for friendship.
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Why parents bully their children
One of the strangest and saddest phenomena of psychological life is that there are parents, too many parents, who end…
Why Parents Bully Their ChildrenArticles
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Self-Knowledge
How Music Can Heal Us
Intuitively, we know that music can heal but rarely is it asked to do so as directly and explicitly as…
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Self-Knowledge
A Bedtime Meditation
To foster ever greater self-awareness, we should carve out time for introspection during two highly conducive periods: late at night…
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Self-Knowledge
What Your Body Reveals About Your Past
For well-founded reasons, we can end up imagining that the main clues to understanding who we are lie in our…
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Calm
How to Sleep Better
Sometimes we have simply had too much coffee, or the bedroom is too hot…but most often, insomnia is psychological. It…
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Relationships
Parenting and People-Pleasing
People pleasing doesn’t at first glance look like a symptom of anything other than being a lovely person. What could…
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Relationships
Two Questions to Repair a Relationship
Few couples appreciate the need for ongoing relationship-maintenance. Every day brings with it small challenges — disappointments, frustrations, irritations —…
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Self-Knowledge
When Illness is Preferable to Health
The idea that there might be an ‘advantage’ to feeling mentally unwell can sound strange — and possibly highly insulting…
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Calm
How to Process Your Emotions
An unexpected and troublesome feature of being human is that we feel so much more than we spontaneously realise we…
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Select themes
Self-Knowledge
How Music Can Heal Us
Intuitively, we know that music can heal but rarely is it asked to do so as directly and explicitly as…
View
Self-Knowledge
A Bedtime Meditation
To foster ever greater self-awareness, we should carve out time for introspection during two highly conducive periods: late at night…
View
Self-Knowledge
What Your Body Reveals About Your Past
For well-founded reasons, we can end up imagining that the main clues to understanding who we are lie in our…
View
Calm
How to Sleep Better
Sometimes we have simply had too much coffee, or the bedroom is too hot…but most often, insomnia is psychological. It…
View
Relationships
Parenting and People-Pleasing
People pleasing doesn’t at first glance look like a symptom of anything other than being a lovely person. What could…
View
Relationships
Two Questions to Repair a Relationship
Few couples appreciate the need for ongoing relationship-maintenance. Every day brings with it small challenges — disappointments, frustrations, irritations —…
View
Self-Knowledge
When Illness is Preferable to Health
The idea that there might be an ‘advantage’ to feeling mentally unwell can sound strange — and possibly highly insulting…
View
Calm
How to Process Your Emotions
An unexpected and troublesome feature of being human is that we feel so much more than we spontaneously realise we…
View