Self-Knowledge
How Hard It Is to Be Patient
Impatient people deserve special pity: not only do they have to suffer from their affliction, they also have to put…
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Calm
On Feeling Manic
Many of us are prone to slip into states of mind we might call ‘manic’ – in which we run obsessively and at high speed away from something within us that asks for our attention and yet feels intolerably raw and overwhelming.
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Calm
Might I Be Feeling Lonely Rather Than Worried?
We might ask a question of our mood that sounds deliberately and provocatively strange: Might I principally, at heart, be lonely rather than worried?
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Calm
The Ecstatic Joy We Deny Ourselves
What if we didn’t always have to be as sad and as anxious as we usually are? What if we surrendered to loving and to being loved?
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Self-Knowledge
The Futility of Seeking Closure
One of our most powerful longings, in relationships where we have suffered (by which we chiefly mean relationships with our…
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Relationships
In Love, Happiness May Need to Be Paid for in Agony
There is nothing more natural, at the start of love, than to seek out happiness. We scan a map and…
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Relationships
The Importance of Expressing Our Needs
It is tear-inducing just how much can go wrong in love because we have failed to master a basic-sounding yet…
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Sociability
On Not Being Able to Listen
We are, most of us, familiar with a particular kind of challenging human: the sort who seems unable to listen…
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Relationships
How We Can Eventually Move on From Heartbreak
At the core of heartbreak lies a particularly cruel belief: the belief in our departed lover’s profound uniqueness. In the…
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Relationships
Cures for Love
‘Cures for Love’ is the title of a self-help book written by the Roman poet Ovid in 2 AD that…
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Relationships
How Heartbreak Pushes Artists to Their Greatest Achievements
For all its many inconveniences and agonies, heartbreak appears to have a longstanding and curious power to push artists towards…
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Self-Knowledge
The Theory of Triangulation
‘Triangulation’ is a term used in psychoanalysis to refer to the way in which someone can be drawn to repeatedly…
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Select themes
Self-Knowledge
The Futility of Seeking Closure
One of our most powerful longings, in relationships where we have suffered (by which we chiefly mean relationships with our…
View
Relationships
In Love, Happiness May Need to Be Paid for in Agony
There is nothing more natural, at the start of love, than to seek out happiness. We scan a map and…
View
Relationships
The Importance of Expressing Our Needs
It is tear-inducing just how much can go wrong in love because we have failed to master a basic-sounding yet…
View
Sociability
On Not Being Able to Listen
We are, most of us, familiar with a particular kind of challenging human: the sort who seems unable to listen…
View
Relationships
How We Can Eventually Move on From Heartbreak
At the core of heartbreak lies a particularly cruel belief: the belief in our departed lover’s profound uniqueness. In the…
View
Relationships
Cures for Love
‘Cures for Love’ is the title of a self-help book written by the Roman poet Ovid in 2 AD that…
View
Relationships
How Heartbreak Pushes Artists to Their Greatest Achievements
For all its many inconveniences and agonies, heartbreak appears to have a longstanding and curious power to push artists towards…
View
Self-Knowledge
The Theory of Triangulation
‘Triangulation’ is a term used in psychoanalysis to refer to the way in which someone can be drawn to repeatedly…
View
