Chapter 1.


Breaking Up & Heartbreak

The Capacity to Give up on People

For noble and very understandable reasons, we’ve come to associate maturity and kindness with a capacity not to give up on people. Our heroes and heroines keep faith with those they…

Breaking Up & Heartbreak

For Those Stuck in a Relationship

This is for those among us who are, secretly, very stuck – that is, who are entirely committed to staying, wholly tempted to leave – and entirely unable to resolve their…


Alternatives to Romantic Monogamy

To a greater extent than we perhaps realise, when it comes to what sort of relationships we are allowed to have, our societies present us with a menu with only a…

Breaking Up & Heartbreak

10 Ideas for People Afraid to Exit a Relationship

1. You are, to a far greater extent than you perhaps realise, already alone. The condition you fear will happen has already happened. To be formally alone would merely mean concretising…

Growth & Maturity

Can People Change?

‘Can people change?’ The question may sound somewhat abstract and disinterested, as if one were asking for a friend or for the universe, but it is likely to be a good…


Konrad Lorenz & Why You Choose the Partners You Choose

This is a piece about geese, jackdaws, a man called Konrad Lorenz – and your love life. Konrad Lorenz, who was born in 1903 and died in 1989, was an Austrian…