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- 01. On Being 'Triggered'
- 02. OCD — and How to Overcome It
- 03. How Mental Illness Impacts Our Bodies
- 04. Signs You Might Be Suffering from Complex PTSD
- 05. On Skin Picking
- 06. Stoicism and Tigers Who Come to Tea
- 07. The Seven Most Calming Works of Art in the World
- 08. After the Storm
- 09. Thoughts for the Storm
- 10. Emotional Maturity in a Crisis
- 11. Preparing for Disaster
- 12. How to Stop Being Scared All the Time
- 13. The Ultimate Dark Source of Security
- 14. What Everybody Really Wants
- 15. Simplicity & Anxiety
- 16. A Way Through Panic Attacks
- 17. Self-Hatred & Anxiety
- 18. The Question We Should Ask Ourselves When Anxious
- 19. On Anxiety
- 20. The True Cause of Dread and Anxiety
- 21. On Being Scared All the Time
- 22. The Importance of Having A Breakdown
- 23. On Asking for Help
- 24. The Normality of Anxiety Attacks
- 25. On Panic Attacks
- 01. Stop Worrying About Your Reputation
- 02. You Still Have Time
- 03. I Will Survive!
- 04. On Trying to Control the Future
- 05. A Few Things Still to Be Grateful For
- 06. No One Knows
- 07. There is No Happily Ever After
- 08. The Catastrophe You Fear Will Happen has Already Happened
- 09. There is Always a Plan B
- 10. The Consolations of History
- 11. The Lessons of Nature
- 12. What Others Think of You - and The Fall of Icarus
- 13. On the Sublime
- 14. Gratitude for the Small Things
- 15. Why ‘Earthrise’ Matters
- 16. On Flowers
- 17. The Valuable Idea Behind the Concept of the Day of Judgement
- 18. The Wisdom of Animals
- 19. The Lottery of Life
- 20. Untranslatable Words
- 21. The Wisdom of Rocks: Gongshi
- 22. Wu Wei – Doing Nothing 無爲
- 23. The Faulty Walnut
- 24. Perspectives on Insomnia
- 25. On the Wisdom of Space
- 26. Memento Mori
- 27. On the Wisdom of Cows
- 28. On Calming Places
- 29. Why Small Pleasures Are a Big Deal
- 30. The Consolations of a Bath
- 31. The Importance of Staring out the Window
- 32. Clouds, Trees, Streams
- 33. On Sunshine
- 01. The Wisdom of Dusk
- 02. The Appeal of Austere Places
- 03. How to Go to Bed Earlier
- 04. Why We All Need Quiet Days
- 05. The Benefits of Provincial Life
- 06. How to Live in a Hut
- 07. For Those Who (Privately) Aspire to Become More Reclusive
- 08. The Hard Work of Being 'Lazy'
- 09. Expectations - and the 80/20 Rule
- 10. Taking It One Day at a Time
- 11. Spirituality for People who Hate Spirituality
- 12. How to Spill A Drink Down One’s Front - and Survive
- 13. How To Stop Worrying Whether or Not They Like You
- 14. On Soothing
- 15. What Is Wrong with Modern Times - and How to Regain Wisdom
- 16. The Disaster of Anthropocentrism - and the Promise of the Transcendent
- 17. On Needing to Find Something to Worry About — Why We Always Worry for No Reason
- 18. How We Are Easily, Too Easily, 'Triggered'
- 19. Hypervigilance
- 20. If The Worst Came to the Worst...
- 21. The Wonders of an Ordinary Life
- 22. In Praise of the Quiet Life
- 23. The Pursuit of Calm
- 24. Insomnia and Philosophy
- 01. Francisco Goya's Masterpiece
- 02. How Industry Restores Our Faith in Humanity
- 03. Rembrandt as a Guide to Kindness
- 04. Buildings That Give Hope - and Buildings That Condemn Us
- 05. Katsushika Hokusai
- 06. Agnes Martin
- 07. The Importance of Architecture
- 08. The Secret of Beauty: Order and Complexity
- 09. Le Corbusier
- 10. Two World Views: Romantic and Classical
- 11. Oscar Niemeyer
- 12. Against Obscurity
- 13. Why Do Scandinavians Have Such Impeccable Taste in Interior Design?
- 14. Art for Art's Sake
- 15. Why We Need to Create a Home
- 16. Why You Should Never Say: ‘Beauty Lies in the Eye of the Beholder’
- 17. Andrea Palladio
- 18. Why Design Matters
- 19. On Good and Bad Taste
- 20. On How to Make an Attractive City
- 21. Art as Therapy
- 22. On Ugliness and the Housing Crisis
- 23. Johannes Vermeer
- 24. Caspar David Friedrich
- 25. Henri Matisse
- 26. Edward Hopper
- 27. Louis Kahn
- 28. Coco Chanel
- 29. Jane Jacobs
- 30. Cy Twombly
- 31. Andy Warhol
- 32. Dieter Rams
- 33. A Therapeutic Approach to Art
- 34. Christo and Jeanne-Claude
- 35. On the Importance of Drawing
- 36. On Art as a Reminder
- 37. On the Price of Art Works
- 38. Secular Chapels
- 39. Relativism and Urban Planning
- 40. What Art Museums Should Be For
- 41. On Fakes and Originals
- 42. The Museum Gift Shop
- 01. What Rothko's Art Teaches Us About Suffering
- 02. The Value of Reading Things We Disagree with
- 03. Easter for Atheists
- 04. The Life House
- 05. Why Philosophy Should Become More Like Pop Music
- 06. Why Stoicism Continues to Matter
- 07. The School of Life: What We Believe
- 08. Cultural Mining
- 09. Lego – the Movies
- 10. Philosophy – the Movies
- 11. History of Ideas – the Movies
- 12. Sociology – the Movies
- 13. Political Theory – the Movies
- 14. Psychotherapy – the Movies
- 15. Greek Philosophy – the Movies
- 16. Eastern Philosophy – the Movies
- 17. Art – the Movies
- 18. On Aphorisms
- 19. What Comes After Religion?
- 20. The Serious Business of Clothes
- 21. What Is the Point of the Humanities?
- 22. Why Music Works
- 23. The Importance of Music
- 24. The Importance of Books
- 25. What Is Comedy For?
- 26. What Is Philosophy For?
- 27. What Is Art For?
- 28. What Is History For?
- 29. What Is Psychotherapy For?
- 30. What Is Literature For?
- 31. The Joys of Sport
- 01. The Four Hindu Stages of Life
- 02. Rice or Wheat? The Difference Between Eastern and Western Cultures
- 03. Eastern vs Western Views of Happiness
- 04. Four Great Ideas from Hinduism
- 05. Zen Buddhism and Fireflies
- 06. Six Ideas from Eastern Philosophy
- 07. Wu Wei – Doing Nothing 無爲
- 08. Kintsugi 金継ぎ
- 09. Buddha
- 10. Lao Tzu
- 11. Confucius
- 12. Sen no Rikyū
- 13. Matsuo Basho
- 14. Mono No Aware
- 15. Guan Yin
- 16. Gongshi
- 17. Wu Wei
- 18. Kintsugi
- 19. Yinshi
- 20. Why so Many Love the Philosophy of the East - and so Few That of the West
- 01. How to Read Fewer Books
- 02. The Downfall of Oscar Wilde
- 03. What Voltaire Meant by 'One Must Cultivate One's Own Garden'
- 04. James Baldwin
- 05. Camus and The Plague
- 06. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- 07. Charles Dickens
- 08. Gustave Flaubert
- 09. Fyodor Dostoevsky
- 10. Marcel Proust
- 11. Books as Therapy
- 12. Jane Austen
- 13. Leo Tolstoy
- 14. Virginia Woolf
- 15. James Joyce
- 01. Freud's Porcupine
- 02. How Mental Illness Impacts Our Bodies
- 03. How the Modern World Makes Us Mentally Ill
- 04. Twenty Key Concepts from Psychotherapy
- 05. Why Psychotherapy Works
- 06. The True and the False Self
- 07. What Happens in Psychotherapy? Four Case Studies
- 08. The Problem of Psychological Asymmetry
- 09. Freud on Sublimation
- 10. Sigmund Freud
- 11. Anna Freud
- 12. Melanie Klein
- 13. Donald Winnicott
- 14. John Bowlby
- 15. A Short Dictionary of Psychoanalysis
- 16. Jacques Lacan
- 01. Sun Worship
- 02. The Importance of Dancing Like an Idiot
- 03. Walking in the Woods
- 04. Getting More Serious about Pleasure
- 05. On Going to the Zoo
- 06. The Fish Shop
- 07. On Small Islands
- 08. On Stars
- 09. On Grandmothers
- 10. Up at Dawn
- 11. On Crimes in the Newspapers
- 12. Driving on the Motorway at Night
- 13. On Sunday Mornings
- 14. A Favourite Old Jumper
- 15. Holding Hands with a Small Child
- 16. Feeling at Home in the Sea
- 17. The Book That Understands You
- 18. Old Photos of One’s Parents
- 19. Whispering in Bed in the Dark
- 20. On Feeling That Someone Else is So Wrong
- 21. The First Day of Feeling Well Again
- 22. Figs
- 01. The Wisdom of Islamic Gardens
- 02. A World Without Air Travel
- 03. Walking in the Woods
- 04. Why We Argue in Paradise
- 05. The Advantages of Staying at Home
- 06. The Wisdom of Nature
- 07. The Holidays When You're Feeling Mentally Unwell
- 08. The Shortest Journey: On Going for a Walk around the Block
- 09. How to Spend a Few Days in Paris
- 10. Why Germans Can Say Things No One Else Can
- 11. Travel as Therapy - an Introduction
- 12. Monument Valley, USA - for Calm
- 13. Corner shop, Kanagawaken, Yokohama - for Shyness
- 14. Cafe de Zaak, Utrecht - for Sex Education
- 15. Capri Hotel, Changi Airport, Singapore - for Thinking
- 16. Eastown Theatre, Detroit - for Perspective
- 17. Pumping Station, Isla Mayor, Seville - for Snobbery
- 18. Comuna 13, San Javier, Medellin, Colombia - for Dissatisfaction
- 19. Glenpark Road, Birmingham - for Boredom
- 20. The Western Desert, Australia – for Humility
- 21. Lunch, 30,000 Feet – for Comfort
- 22. Heathrow Airport, London – for Awe
- 23. Pefkos Beach, Rhodes - for Anxiety
- 01. Kierkegaard on Love
- 02. Aristotle
- 03. Baruch Spinoza
- 04. Arthur Schopenhauer
- 05. Blaise Pascal
- 06. Six Ideas from Western Philosophy
- 07. Introduction to The Curriculum
- 08. Plato
- 09. The Stoics
- 10. Epicurus
- 11. Augustine
- 12. Boethius and The Consolation of Philosophy
- 13. Thomas Aquinas
- 14. Michel de Montaigne
- 15. La Rochefoucauld
- 16. Voltaire
- 17. David Hume
- 18. Immanuel Kant
- 19. Hegel
- 20. Hegel Knew There Would Be Days Like These
- 21. Ralph Waldo Emerson
- 22. Nietzsche
- 23. Nietzsche, Regret and Amor Fati
- 24. Nietzsche and Envy
- 25. Martin Heidegger
- 26. Ludwig Wittgenstein
- 27. Jean-Paul Sartre
- 28. Albert Camus
- 29. Michel Foucault
- 30. Jacques Derrida
- 31. E. M. Cioran
- 01. What to Say in Response to an Affair
- 02. How To Handle the Desire for Affairs?
- 03. What Does It Take To Be Good at Affairs?
- 04. What Ideally Happens When An Affair is Discovered?
- 05. When Does An Affair Begin?
- 06. A Brief History of Affairs
- 07. How to Reduce the Risk of Affairs
- 08. The Role of Sex in Affairs
- 09. How To Spot A Couple That Might Be Headed For An Affair
- 10. How Can An Affair Help A Marriage?
- 11. The Pleasures of Affairs
- 12. The Pains of Affairs
- 13. The Meaning of Infidelity
- 14. Loyalty and Adultery
- 15. Why People Have Affairs: Distance and Closeness
- 01. There's Nothing Wrong with Being on Your Own
- 02. The Wrong Idea of a Baddie
- 03. Finding Closure After a Breakup
- 04. Should Sex Ever Be a Reason to Break Up?
- 05. When a Relationship Fails, Who Rejected Whom?
- 06. The Fear of Not Being Able to Cope Practically Without a Partner
- 07. The Fear of Ending a Relationship
- 08. What About the Children When Divorce is on the Cards?
- 09. What If I Just Repeat the Same Mistakes Next Time?
- 10. Are My Expectations Too High?
- 11. Overcoming Nostalgia for a Past Relationship
- 12. The Feeling of Being Back in Love with the Person You're About to Leave
- 13. The Capacity to Give up on People
- 14. For Those Stuck in a Relationship
- 15. 10 Ideas for People Afraid to Exit a Relationship
- 16. People Who Want to Own Us - but Not Nourish Us
- 17. The Hardest Person in the World to Break up With
- 18. A Non-Tragic View of Breaking Up
- 19. A Guide to Breaking Up
- 20. How to Reject Someone Kindly
- 21. When Someone We Love Has Died
- 22. Why Did They Leave Us?
- 23. How to Break Up
- 24. How We Can Have Our Hearts Broken Even Though No One Has Left Us
- 25. The Psychology of Our Exes
- 26. 'Unfair Dismissal' in Love
- 27. How Not to Be Tortured By a Love Rival
- 28. Coping with Betrayal
- 29. Can Exes be Friends?
- 30. How to Get Over Someone
- 31. Why True Love Doesn’t Have to Last Forever
- 32. How to Get Over a Rejection
- 33. How to End a Relationship
- 34. Stay or Leave?
- 35. How to Get Divorced
- 36. On Forgetting Lovers
- 37. How Not to Break Up with Someone
- 01. Why We Must Explain Our Own Needs
- 02. How Good Are You at Communication in Love? Questionnaire
- 03. Why Some Couples Last — and Some Don't
- 04. The Difference Between Fragile and Strong Couples
- 05. What Relationships Should Really Be About
- 06. The Real Reason Why Couples Break Up
- 07. 6 Reasons We Choose Badly in Love
- 08. Can People Change?
- 09. Konrad Lorenz & Why You Choose the Partners You Choose
- 10. The Stranger You Live With
- 11. The Attachment Style Questionnaire
- 12. Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Find It Hard to Leave One Another
- 13. The Challenges of Anxious-Avoidant Relationships — Can Couples With Different Attachment Styles Work?
- 14. On Rescue Fantasies
- 15. How to Cope with an Avoidant Partner
- 16. What Is Your Attachment Style?
- 17. 'I Will Never Find the Right Partner'
- 18. Too Close or Too Distant: How We Stand in Relationships
- 19. How Are You Difficult to Live with?
- 20. Why We're Compelled to Love Difficult People
- 21. Why Your Lover is Very Damaged - and Annoying
- 22. Why Tiny Things about Our Partners Drive Us Mad
- 23. How to Love Ugly People
- 24. Why Polyamory Probably Won’t Work for You
- 25. Why We Go Cold on Our Partners
- 26. An Instruction Manual to Oneself
- 27. The Terrors of Being Loved
- 28. The Partner as Child Theory
- 29. Attachment Style Questionnaire
- 30. On the Fear of Intimacy
- 31. Meet the Parents
- 32. On Finding the 'Right' Person
- 33. If You Loved Me, You Wouldn't Want to Change Me
- 34. The Problems of Closeness
- 01. On Gaslighting
- 02. Why We Play Games in Love
- 03. On 'Rupture' and 'Repair'
- 04. Why it's OK to Want a Partner to Change
- 05. On Arguing More Nakedly
- 06. Do You Still Love Me?
- 07. Why We Need to Feel Heard
- 08. Five Questions to Ask of Bad Behaviour
- 09. The Art of Complaining
- 10. The Challenges of Communication
- 11. How To Have Fewer Bitter Arguments in Love
- 12. The Arguments We Have From Guilt
- 13. Attention-Seeking Arguments
- 14. When Our Partners Are Being Excessively Logical
- 15. When We Tell Our Partners That We Are Normal and They Are Strange
- 16. When Your Partner Tries to Stop You Growing
- 17. When Your Partner Starts Crying Hysterically During an Argument
- 18. Why We Sometimes Set Out to Shatter Our Lover's Good Mood
- 19. Why People Get Defensive in Relationships
- 20. A History of Arguments
- 21. The Fights When There Is No Sex
- 22. What We Might Learn in Couples Therapy
- 23. On the Tendency to Love and Hate Excessively
- 24. An Alternative to Being Controlling
- 25. Why We Should Not Silently Suffer From A Lack of Touch in Love
- 26. Why Anger Has a Place in Love
- 27. The Importance of Relationship Counselling
- 28. How to Argue in Relationships
- 29. Why We (Sometimes) Hope the People We Love Might Die
- 30. Be the Change You Want To See
- 31. I Wish I Was Still Single
- 32. Love and Sulking
- 33. On Being Unintentionally Hurt
- 34. The Secret Problems of Other Couples
- 35. On the Dangers of Being Too Defensive
- 36. On How to Defuse an Argument
- 37. How to Save Love with Pessimism
- 38. How 'Transference' Makes You Hard to Live With
- 39. Why You Resent Your Partner
- 40. Why It Is Always Your Partner's Fault
- 41. If It Wasn't for You...
- 42. Why You Are So Annoyed By What You Once Admired
- 43. Why You’re (Probably) Not a Great Communicator
- 01. Why Dating Apps Won't Help You Find Love
- 02. Being Honest on a Date
- 03. Why Haven't They Called - and the Rorschach Test
- 04. Dating When You've Had a Bad Childhood
- 05. Varieties of Madness Commonly Met with On Dates
- 06. How to Seduce with Confidence
- 07. A Brief History of Dating
- 08. How to Prove Attractive to Someone on a Date
- 09. Existentialism and Dating
- 10. What to Talk About on a Date
- 11. What to Eat and Drink on a Date
- 12. How to Seduce Someone on a Date
- 13. How Not to Think on a Date
- 01. True Love Begins With Self-Love
- 02. The Importance of Being Single
- 03. Why We Keep Choosing Bad Partners
- 04. Celebrity Crushes
- 05. Romantic Masochism
- 06. What Do You Love Me For?
- 07. If Love Never Came
- 08. On the Madness and Charm of Crushes
- 09. Why Only the Happy Single Find True Love
- 10. Should We Play It Cool When We Like Someone?
- 11. In Praise of Unrequited Love
- 12. Two Reasons Why You Might Still Be Single
- 13. How We Choose a Partner
- 14. Why Flirting Matters
- 15. Why, Once You Understand Love, You Could Love Anyone
- 16. Mate Selection
- 17. Reasons to Remain Single
- 18. How to Enjoy a New Relationship
- 01. Alternatives to Romantic Monogamy
- 02. Twenty Ideas on Marriage
- 03. For Moments of Marital Crisis
- 04. What to Do on Your Wedding Night
- 05. Who Should You Invite to Your Wedding?
- 06. Pragmatic Reasons for Getting Married
- 07. The Standard Marriage and Its Seven Alternatives
- 08. Utopian Marriage
- 09. When Is One Ready to Get Married?
- 10. On the Continuing Relevance of Marriage
- 11. On Marrying the Wrong Person — 9 Reasons We Will Regret Getting Married
- 01. Why You Can't Read Your Partner's Mind
- 02. What Teddy Bears Teach Us About Love
- 03. What Role Do You Play in Your Relationship?
- 04. Why We Should Be 'Babyish' in Love
- 05. The Maturity of Regression
- 06. The Benefits of Insecurity in Love
- 07. Taking the Pressure off Love
- 08. A Pledge for Lovers
- 09. A Projection Exercise for Couples
- 10. A New Ritual: The Morning and Evening Kiss
- 11. Can Our Phones Solve Our Love Lives?
- 12. If We're All Bad at Love, Shouldn't We Change Our Definition of Normality?
- 13. Other People's Relationships
- 14. How to Cope with an Avoidant Partner
- 15. The Pleasure of Reading Together in Bed
- 16. 22 Questions to Reignite Love
- 17. The Wisdom of Romantic Compromise
- 18. How to Complain
- 19. How We Need to Keep Growing Up
- 20. Teaching and Love
- 21. Love and Self-Love
- 22. Humour in Love
- 23. The Advantages of Long-Distance Love
- 24. In Praise of Hugs
- 25. Why Affectionate Teasing is Kind and Necessary
- 26. The Couple Courtroom Game
- 27. Getting over a Row
- 28. Keeping Secrets in Relationships
- 29. A Lover's Guide to Sulking
- 30. Artificial Conversations
- 31. On the Role of Stories in Love
- 32. On the Hardest Job in the World
- 33. On the Beloved's Wrist
- 01. A Portrait of Tenderness
- 02. What Makes a Good Parent? A Checklist
- 03. On the Curiosity of Children
- 04. How to Lend a Child Confidence
- 05. The Importance of Play
- 06. Why Children Need an Emotional Education
- 07. Coping with One's Parents
- 08. Are Children for Me?
- 09. How Parents Might Let Their Children Know of Their Issues
- 10. How We Crave to Be Soothed
- 11. Escaping the Shadow of a Parent
- 12. On Being Angry with a Parent
- 13. What You Might Want to Tell Your Child About Homework
- 14. On Apologising to Your Child
- 15. Teaching Children about Relationships
- 16. How Should a Parent Love their Child?
- 17. When people pleasers become parents - and need to say 'no'
- 18. On the Sweetness of Children
- 19. Listening to Children
- 20. Whether or not to have Children
- 21. The Children of Snobs
- 22. Why Good Parents Have Naughty Children
- 23. The Joys and Sorrows of Parenting
- 24. The Significance of Parenthood
- 25. Why Family Matters
- 26. Parenting and Working
- 27. On Children's Art
- 28. What Babies Can Teach Us
- 29. Why – When It Comes to Children – Love May Not Be Enough
- 01. Kierkegaard on Love
- 02. Why Do I Feel So Lonely?
- 03. Pygmalion and your Love life
- 04. How to Love
- 05. What is Love?
- 06. On Romanticism
- 07. A Short History of Love
- 08. The Definition of Love
- 09. Why We Need the Ancient Greek Vocabulary of Love
- 10. The Cure for Love
- 11. Why We Need to Speak of Love in Public
- 12. How Romanticism Ruined Love
- 13. Our Most Romantic Moments
- 14. Loving and Being Loved
- 15. Romantic Realism
- 16. On Being Romantic or Classical
- 01. The Ongoing Complexities of Our Intimate Lives
- 02. On Post-Coital Melancholy
- 03. Desire and Intimacy
- 04. What Makes a Person Attractive?
- 05. How to Talk About Your Sexual Fantasy
- 06. The Problem of Sexual Shame
- 07. Who Initiates Sex: and Why It Matters So Much
- 08. On Still Being a Virgin
- 09. Love and Sex
- 10. Impotence and Respect
- 11. Sexual Non-Liberation
- 12. The Excitement of Kissing
- 13. The Appeal of Outdoor Sex
- 14. The Sexual Fantasies of Others
- 15. On Art and Masturbation
- 16. The Psychology of Cross-Dressing
- 17. The Fear of Being Bad in Bed
- 18. The Sex-Starved Relationship
- 19. How to Start Having Sex Again
- 20. Sexual Liberation
- 21. The Poignancy of Old Pornography
- 22. On Porn Addiction
- 23. A Brief Philosophy of Oral Sex
- 24. On Being a Sleazebag
- 25. Why We Go Off Sex
- 26. A Brief Theory of Sexual Excitement
- 01. Charles Darwin and The Descent of Man
- 02. Why We Are All Addicts
- 03. Straightforward vs. Complicated People
- 04. Reasons to Give Up on Perfection
- 05. The Need for a Cry
- 06. On Confinement
- 07. The Importance of Singing Badly
- 08. You Don't Need Permission
- 09. On Feeling Stuck
- 10. Am I Paranoid?
- 11. Learning to Be More Selfish
- 12. Learning How to Be Angry
- 13. Why We're All Liars
- 14. Are You a Masochist?
- 15. How Badly Adapted We Are to Life on Earth
- 16. How We Prefer to Act Rather Than Think
- 17. How to Live More Wisely Around Our Phones
- 18. On Dreaming
- 19. The Need to be Alone
- 20. On the Remarkable Need to Speak
- 21. Thinking Too Much; and Thinking Too Little
- 22. On Nagging
- 23. The Prevention of Suicide
- 24. On Getting an Early Night
- 25. Why We Eat Too Much
- 26. On Taking Drugs
- 27. On Perfectionism
- 28. On Procrastination
- 01. Giving Up on People Pleasing
- 02. The Benefits of Forgetfulness
- 03. How to Take Criticism
- 04. A More Spontaneous Life
- 05. On Self-Assertion
- 06. The Benefit of Analogies
- 07. Why We Need Moments of Mad Thinking
- 08. The Task of Turning Vague Thoughts into More Precise Ones
- 09. How to Catch Your Own Thoughts
- 10. Why Our Best Thoughts Come To Us in the Shower
- 11. Calm
- 12. Confidence
- 13. Why We Should Try to Become Better Narcissists
- 14. Why We Require Poor Memories To Survive
- 15. The Importance of Confession
- 16. How Emotionally Healthy Are You?
- 17. What Is An Emotionally Healthy Childhood?
- 18. Unprocessed Emotion
- 19. How to Be a Genius
- 20. On Resilience
- 21. How to Decide
- 22. Why It Should Be Glamorous to Change Your Mind
- 23. How to Make More of Our Memories
- 24. What’s Wrong with Needy People
- 25. Emotional Education: An Introduction
- 26. Philosophical Meditation
- 27. Honesty
- 28. Self-Love
- 29. Emotional Scepticism
- 30. Politeness
- 31. Charity
- 32. Charm
- 33. Love-as-Generosity
- 34. Comforting
- 35. Emotional Translation
- 36. Humour
- 37. On Pessimism
- 38. The Problem with Cynicism
- 39. On Keeping Going
- 40. Closeness
- 41. On Higher Consciousness
- 42. On Exercising the Mind
- 43. Authentic Work
- 44. The Sorrows of Work
- 45. Cultural Consolation
- 46. Appreciation
- 47. Cheerful Despair
- 01. The Upsides of Being Ill
- 02. The Roots of Paranoia
- 03. Loneliness as a Sign of Depth
- 04. How Social Media Affects Our Self-Worth
- 05. How to Be Beautiful
- 06. Trying to Be Kinder to Ourselves
- 07. The Role of Love in Mental Health
- 08. Trauma and Fearfulness
- 09. On Despair and the Imagination
- 10. On Being Able to Defend Oneself
- 11. The Fear of Death
- 12. I Am Not My Body
- 13. The Problems of Being Very Beautiful
- 14. 6 Reasons Not to Worry What the Neighbours Think
- 15. Am I Fat? An Answer from History
- 16. The Problem of Shame
- 17. On Feeling Ugly
- 18. The Particular Beauty of Unhappy-Looking People
- 19. How Not to Become a Conspiracy Theorist
- 20. The Terror of a ‘No’
- 21. On Being Hated
- 22. The Origins of Everyday Nastiness
- 23. The Weakness of Strength Theory
- 24. On Self-Sabotage
- 25. FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out
- 26. On a Sense of Sinfulness
- 01. On Feeling Rather Than Thinking
- 02. How to Be Interesting
- 03. Am I Too Clever?
- 04. A More Self-Accepting Life
- 05. 'Let Him Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone'
- 06. The Roots of Loneliness
- 07. Small Acts of Liberation
- 08. Overcoming the Need to Be Exceptional
- 09. The Fear of Happiness
- 10. The Truth May Already Be Inside Us
- 11. What Is the Meaning of Life?
- 12. The Desire to Write
- 13. Are Intelligent People More Lonely?
- 14. A Better Word than Happiness: Eudaimonia
- 15. The Meaning of Life
- 16. Our Secret Fantasies
- 17. Why We’re Fated to Be Lonely (But That’s OK)
- 18. Good Enough is Good Enough
- 19. An Updated Ten Commandments
- 20. A Self-Compassion Exercise
- 21. How to Become a Better Person
- 22. On Resolutions
- 23. On Final Things
- 01. Self-Forgiveness
- 02. Why We Must Have Done Bad to Be Good
- 03. Finding the Courage to Be Ourselves
- 04. What Regret Can Teach Us
- 05. The Importance of Adolescence
- 06. How to Love Difficult People
- 07. On Falling Mentally Ill
- 08. Splitting Humanity into Saints and Sinners
- 09. Becoming Free
- 10. Learning to Listen to the Adult Inside Us
- 11. The Ultimate Test of Emotional Maturity
- 12. Can People Change?
- 13. When Home is Not Home...
- 14. Learning to Lay Down Boundaries
- 15. You Could Finally Leave School!
- 16. When Do You Know You Are Emotionally Mature? 26 Signs of Emotional Maturity
- 17. How to Lengthen Your Life
- 18. We Only Learn If We Repeat
- 19. The Drive to Keep Growing Emotionally
- 20. On Bittersweet Memories
- 21. Small Triumphs of the Mentally Unwell
- 22. The Importance of Atonement
- 23. How To Be a Mummy's Boy
- 24. On Consolation
- 25. The Inner Idiot
- 26. The Dangers of the Good Child
- 27. Why None of Us are Really 'Sinners'
- 28. How We Need to Keep Growing Up
- 29. Are Humans Still Evolving?
- 30. On Losers – and Tragic Heroes
- 31. On the Serious Role of Stuffed Animals
- 32. Why Self-Help Books Matter
- 01. How to Figure Out What You Really, Really Think
- 02. Why You Should Keep a Journal
- 03. In Praise of Introspection
- 04. What Brain Scans Reveal About Our Minds
- 05. What is Mental Health?
- 06. The One Question You Need to Ask to Know Whether You're a Good Person
- 07. Eight Rules of The School of Life
- 08. No One Cares
- 09. The High Price We Pay for Our Fear of Being Alone
- 10. 5 Signs of Emotional Immaturity
- 11. On Knowing Who One Is
- 12. Why Self-Analysis Works
- 13. Knowing Things Intellectually vs. Knowing Them Emotionally
- 14. The Novel We Really Need To Read Next
- 15. Is Free Will or Determinism Correct?
- 16. Emotional Identity
- 17. Know Yourself — Socrates and How to Develop Self-Knowledge
- 18. Self-Knowledge Quiz
- 19. On Being Very Normal
- 01. Why Do Bad Things Always Happen to Me?
- 02. Why We Enjoy the Suffering of Others
- 03. The Tragedy of Birth
- 04. What Rothko's Art Teaches Us About Suffering
- 05. Our Tragic Condition
- 06. The Melancholy Charm of Lonely Travelling Places
- 07. Nostalgia for Religion
- 08. Parties and Melancholy
- 09. Why Very Beautiful Scenes Can Make Us So Melancholy
- 10. On Old Photos of Oneself
- 11. Are Intelligent People More Melancholic?
- 12. Strangers and Melancholy
- 13. On Post-Coital Melancholy
- 14. Sex and Melancholy
- 15. Astronomy and Melancholy
- 16. Nostalgia for the Womb
- 17. Melancholy and the Feeling of Being Superfluous
- 18. Pills & Melancholy
- 19. Melancholy: the best kind of Despair
- 20. On Melancholy
- 01. Why You May Be Experiencing a Mental Midwinter
- 02. Living Long-Term with Mental Illness
- 03. The Role of Sleep in Mental Health
- 04. The Role of Pills in Mental Health
- 05. Mental Illness and Acceptance
- 06. Mental Illness and 'Reasons to Live'
- 07. Taming a Pitiless Inner Critic
- 08. Reasons to Give Up on Human Beings
- 09. The Window of Tolerance
- 10. On Realising One Might Be an Introvert
- 11. Our Right to be Miserable
- 12. How to Manage One's Moods
- 13. On Living in a More Light-Hearted Way
- 14. On Disliking Oneself
- 15. Of Course We Mess Up!
- 16. Learning to Listen to One's Own Boredom
- 17. On Depression
- 18. In Praise of the Melancholy Child
- 19. Why We May Be Angry Rather Than Sad
- 20. On Not Being in the Moment
- 21. 'Pure' OCD - and Intrusive Thoughts
- 22. Twenty Moods
- 23. How the Right Words Help Us to Feel the Right Things
- 24. The Secret Optimism of Angry People
- 25. On Feeling Depressed
- 26. The Difficulty of Being in the Present
- 27. On Being Out of Touch with One's Feelings
- 28. Our Secret Thoughts
- 29. The Psychology of Colour
- 30. On Self-Pity
- 31. On Irritability
- 32. On Anger
- 33. On the Things that Make Adults Cry
- 34. Detachment
- 01. How to Get Your Parents Out of Your Head
- 02. Why Parents Bully Their Children
- 03. On Projection
- 04. Self-Archaeology
- 05. It's Not Your Fault
- 06. If Our Parents Never Listened
- 07. Why Everything Relates to Your Childhood
- 08. Why Those Who Should Love Us Can Hurt Us
- 09. The Upsides of Having a Mental Breakdown
- 10. How Perfectionism Makes Us Ill
- 11. How We Should Have Been Loved
- 12. Self-Hatred and High-Achievement
- 13. A Self-Hatred Audit
- 14. How Mental Illness Impacts Our Bodies
- 15. Two Reasons Why People End up Parenting Badly
- 16. What is Emotional Neglect?
- 17. How Unloving Parents can Generate Self-Hating Children
- 18. How Mental Illness Closes Down Our Minds
- 19. Trauma and EMDR Therapy
- 20. How to Fight off Your Inner Critic
- 21. The One Subject You Really Need to Study: Your Own Childhood
- 22. Sharing Our Early Wounds
- 23. Trauma and How to Overcome It
- 24. Why We're All Messed Up By Our Childhoods
- 25. The Golden Child Syndrome
- 26. The Importance of Being an Unhappy Teenager
- 27. How We Get Damaged by Emotional Neglect
- 28. The Secrets of a Privileged Childhood
- 29. What We Owe to the People Who Loved Us in Childhood
- 30. Criticism When You've Had a Bad Childhood
- 31. On Suffering in Silence
- 32. How a Messed up Childhood Affects You in Adulthood
- 33. Daddy Issues
- 34. The Non-Rewritable Disc: the Fateful Impact of Childhood
- 35. On the Longing for Maternal Tenderness
- 01. How We Can Hurt Without Thinking
- 02. Leaning in to Vulnerability
- 03. How to Become Someone People Will Confide in
- 04. How To Write An Effective Thank You Letter
- 05. How to Be a Good Listener
- 06. How to Comment Online
- 07. Listening as Editing
- 08. The Importance of Flattery
- 09. How to Narrate Your Life Story
- 10. The Art of Listening
- 11. How to Narrate Your Dreams
- 12. How to Talk About Yourself
- 13. Communication
- 14. How to Be a Good Teacher
- 15. On How to Disagree
- 16. On the Art of Conversation
- 01. Stop Being So Nice
- 02. The Origins of Shyness
- 03. On Friendliness to Strangers
- 04. What to Do at Parties If You Hate Small Talk
- 05. How to Approach Strangers at A Party
- 06. How to Be Comfortable on Your Own in Public
- 07. Akrasia - or Why We Don't Do What We Believe
- 08. Why We Think So Much about Our Hair
- 09. Aphorisms on Confidence
- 10. How Knowledge of Difficulties Lends Confidence
- 11. How Thinking You’re an Idiot Lends Confidence
- 12. How to Overcome Shyness
- 13. The Mind-Body Problem
- 14. The Impostor Syndrome
- 15. On the Origins of Confidence
- 16. Self-Esteem
- 17. On Confidence
- 18. On Not Liking the Way One Looks
- 01. Why Misfits Make Great Friends
- 02. How to Handle an Envious Friend
- 03. Loneliness as a Sign of Depth
- 04. Companionship and Mental Health
- 05. How Often Do We Need to Go to Parties?
- 06. Virtual Dinners: Conversation Menus
- 07. The Cleaning Party
- 08. On Talking Horizontally
- 09. Dinner Table Orchestra
- 10. On Sofa Jumping
- 11. On Studying Someone Else's Hands
- 12. What Women and Men May Learn from One Another When They are Just Friends
- 13. How to Say 'I Love You' to a Friend
- 14. How to End a Friendship
- 15. What Can Stop the Loneliness?
- 16. Why Men Are So Bad at Friendship
- 17. What Would An Ideal Friend Be Like?
- 18. 'Couldn't We Just Be Friends?'
- 19. On Acquiring an Enemy
- 20. Why Old Friends Matter
- 21. Why Not to Panic about Enemies
- 22. What Is the Purpose of Friendship?
- 23. Friendship and Vulnerability
- 24. On Socks and Friendship
- 25. The Teasing of Old Friends
- 01. The Origins of People Pleasing
- 02. The Eyes of Love
- 03. Kindness Isn't Weakness
- 04. Why We're All Capable of Damaging Others
- 05. Rembrandt as a Guide to Kindness
- 06. What Love Really Is – and Why It Matters
- 07. The Need for Kindness
- 08. 6 Reasons Not to Worry What the Neighbours Think
- 09. What to Do When a Stranger Annoys You
- 10. How to Choose A Good Present
- 11. How to Be a Good Guest
- 12. How To Make People Feel Good about Themselves
- 13. How To Tell When You Are Being A Bore
- 14. What Is Empathy?
- 15. How Not to Rant
- 16. How Not to Be Boring
- 17. On Eggs and Compassion
- 18. How to Become an Adult
- 19. People-Pleasing: and How to Overcome It
- 20. Why Truly Sociable People Hate Parties
- 21. How to Be Diplomatic
- 22. Sane Insanity
- 23. Charity of Interpretation
- 24. How to Be a Good Teacher
- 25. The Solution to Clumsiness
- 26. How to Be a Man
- 27. Political Correctness vs. Politeness
- 28. Aphorisms on Kindness
- 29. Why We Don’t Really Want to Be Nice
- 30. The Charm of Vulnerability
- 31. The Ultimate Test of Your Social Skills
- 32. How to Be Open-Minded
- 33. Why Kind People Always Lie
- 34. How to Be Warm
- 35. The Problem of Over-Friendliness
- 36. How to Forgive
- 37. Why We’re Fated to Be Lonely (But That’s OK)
- 38. How to Cope with Snobbery
- 39. On Charm
- 40. On Being Kind
- 41. On Gratitude
- 42. On Forgiveness
- 43. On Charity
- 44. On Wisdom
- 01. How to Fire Someone
- 02. Diplomacy at the Office
- 03. How to Tell a Colleague Their Breath Smells
- 04. How to Screw Up at Work
- 05. In Praise of Teamwork
- 06. How to Become an Entrepreneur
- 07. The Need for Eloquence
- 08. The Nature and Causes of Procrastination
- 09. In Praise of Networking
- 10. Why Creativity is Too Important to Be Left to Artists
- 11. How to Survive Bureaucracy
- 12. Machismo and Management
- 13. What Art Can Teach Business About Being Fussy
- 14. On Novelists and Manuals
- 15. How Not to Let Work Explode Your Life
- 16. How to Sell
- 17. Innovation, Empathy and Introspection
- 18. Innovation and Creativity
- 19. Innovation and Science Fiction
- 20. The Acceptance of Change
- 21. The Collaborative Virtues
- 22. Towards Better Collaboration
- 23. How To Make Efficiency a Habit
- 24. On Raising the Prestige of 'Details'
- 25. Monasticism & How to Avoid Distraction
- 26. How to Dare to Begin
- 27. On Meaning – and Motivation
- 28. The Psychological Obstacles Holding Employees Back
- 29. On Feedback
- 30. How to Better Understand Customers
- 31. On Bounded and Unbounded Tasks
- 01. What Should Truly Motivate Us at Work
- 02. Nature as a Cure for the Sickness of Modern Times
- 03. The Difficulties of Work-Life Balance
- 04. The Challenges of Modernity
- 05. Businesses for Love; Businesses for Money
- 06. Countries for Losers; Countries for Winners
- 07. Towards a Solution to Inequality
- 08. Free Trade - or Protectionism?
- 09. Should We Work on Ourselves - or on the World?
- 10. Why Is There Unemployment?
- 11. Artists and Supermarket Tycoons
- 12. Business and the Arts
- 13. Sentimentality in Art - and Business
- 14. How to Make a Country Rich
- 15. First World Problems
- 16. On Devotion to Corporations
- 17. Good vs Classical Economics
- 18. What Is a Good Brand?
- 19. Good Economic Measures: Beyond GDP
- 20. What Good Business Should Be
- 21. On the Faultiness of Our Economic Indicators
- 22. On the Dawn of Capitalism
- 23. Utopian Capitalism
- 24. On Philanthropy
- 01. On Eating a Friend
- 02. Is the Modern World Too 'Materialistic'?
- 03. On Consumer Capitalism
- 04. The Importance of Maslow's Pyramid of Needs
- 05. How to Live More Wisely Around Our Phones
- 06. Money and 'Higher Things'
- 07. Why We Are All Addicts
- 08. Why We Are So Bad at Shopping
- 09. Business and the Ladder of Needs
- 10. Consumer Self-Knowledge
- 11. "Giving Customers What They Want"
- 12. The Entrepreneur and the Artist
- 13. What Advertising Can Learn from Art
- 14. What the Luxury Sector Does for Us
- 15. On Using Sex to Sell
- 16. Understanding Brand Promises
- 17. Consumer Education: On Learning How to Spend
- 18. Good Materialism
- 19. Why We Hate Cheap Things
- 20. Why We Continue to Love Expensive Things
- 21. Why Advertising Is so Annoying - but Doesn't Have to Be
- 22. On Good Demand
- 23. Adverts Know What We Want - They Just Can't Sell It to us
- 24. On the Responsibility of the Consumer
- 25. On Consumption and Status Anxiety
- 26. On the True Desires of the Rich
- 01. How to Be Original
- 02. When Are We Truly Productive?
- 03. The Importance of the Siesta
- 04. Career Therapy
- 05. On Meritocracy
- 06. The Vocation Myth
- 07. The Good Sides of Work
- 08. The Good Office
- 09. The EQ Office
- 10. Good Salaries: What We Earn - and What We’re Worth
- 11. What Good Business Should Be
- 12. On the Pleasures of Work
- 01. The Concept of Voluntary Poverty
- 02. The Dangers of Having Too Little To Do
- 03. How Could a Working Life Be Meaningful?
- 04. On Learning to Live Deeply Rather than Broadly
- 05. What They Forget to Teach You at School
- 06. Authentic Work
- 07. Why We Need to Work
- 08. How We Came to Desire a Job We Could Love
- 09. Why Work Is So Much Easier than Love
- 10. Work and Maturity
- 11. How Your Job Shapes Your Identity
- 12. Authentic Work
- 01. Do We Need to Read the News?
- 02. On Gossip
- 03. How the Media Damages Our Faith in Humanity
- 04. Why We Secretly Love Bad News
- 05. Celebrity Crushes
- 06. On Switching Off the News
- 07. We've Been Here Before
- 08. In Praise of Bias
- 09. The News from Without - and the News from Within
- 10. History as a Corrective to News
- 11. Emotional Technology
- 12. What's Wrong with the Media
- 13. On the Dangers of the Internet
- 14. On Taking Digital Sabbaths
- 15. On the Role of Censorship
- 16. On the Role of Disasters
- 17. On the Role of Art in News
- 18. Tragedies and Ordinary Lives in the Media
- 19. On the Failures of Economic News
- 20. On Health News
- 21. What State Broadcasters Should Do
- 22. On News and Kindness
- 23. On the Role of Cheerful News
- 24. On Maniacs and Murderers
- 01. The United States and Happiness
- 02. Political Emotional Maturity
- 03. On Feeling Offended
- 04. A Guide to Good Nationalism
- 05. Why We Do - After All - Care about Politics
- 06. Why Socrates Hated Democracy
- 07. The Fragility of Good Government
- 08. Romantic vs. Classical Voters
- 09. Africa after Independence
- 01. Should I Follow My Dreams?
- 02. How to Retire Early
- 03. The Agonies of Choice
- 04. The Creative Itch
- 05. Broadening the Job Search
- 06. Our Families and Our Careers
- 07. The Challenges of Choosing a Career
- 08. On Career Crises
- 09. The Output/Input Confusion
- 10. Finding a Mission
- 11. How to Serve
- 12. Why Work-Life Balance is an Illusion
- 13. On Gratitude – and Motivation
- 14. How to Find Fulfilling Work
- 15. On the Origins of Motivation at Work
- 16. On Becoming an Entrepreneur
- 17. On Being an Unemployed Arts Graduate
- 01. On Small Talk at the Office
- 02. On Falling Apart at the Office
- 03. The Sorrows of Competition
- 04. What Is That Sunday Evening Feeling?
- 05. How Parents Get in the Way of Our Career Plans
- 06. Why Modern Work Is So Boring
- 07. Why Pessimism is the Key to Good Government
- 08. The Sorrows of Colleagues
- 09. The Sorrows of Commercialisation
- 10. The Sorrows of Standardisation
- 11. Confidence in the System
- 12. Job Monogamy
- 13. The Duty Trap
- 14. The Perfectionist Trap
- 15. On Professional Failure
- 16. Nasty Businesses
- 17. The Job Investment Trap
- 18. How Your Job Shapes Your Identity
- 19. The Pains of Leadership
- 20. Would It Be Better for Your Job If You Were Celibate?
- 21. On Stress and Inner Voices
- 22. On Being Wary of Simple-Looking Issues
- 23. On Commuting
- 24. On the Sorrows of Work
- 25. On Misemployment
- 26. On Guilt-trips and Charm
- 01. The Problem with Individualism
- 02. Winners and Losers in the Race of Life
- 03. Being on the Receiving End of Pity
- 04. Shakespeare: 'When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state...'
- 05. Overcoming the Need to Be Exceptional
- 06. On the Loss of Reputation
- 07. The Secret Sorrows of Over-Achievers
- 08. You Are Not What You Earn
- 09. Artistic Philanthropy
- 10. The Need to Keep Believing in Luck
- 11. On Glamour
- 12. The Incumbent Problem
- 13. How to Cope with Snobbery
- 14. On the Dangers of Success
- 15. On Doing Better Than Our Parents
- 16. Success at School vs. Success in Life
- 17. Why We Look Down on People Who Don’t Earn Very Much
- 18. What Is 'Success'?
- 19. On Children and Power
- 20. On Pleasure in the Downfall of the Mighty
- 21. On Status and Democracy
- 22. On Failure and Success in the Game of Fame
- 23. On Envy
- 24. A Philosophical Exercise for Envy
- 25. On the Desire for Fame
- 26. On Consumption and Status Anxiety
- 27. On the Envy of Politicians
- 28. On Fame and Sibling Rivalry
- 01. Why Humanity Destroyed Itself
- 02. How Science Could - at Last - Properly Replace Religion
- 03. Our Forgotten Craving for Community
- 04. Why isn't the Future here yet?
- 05. On Changing the World
- 06. What Community Centres Should Be Like
- 07. On Seduction
- 08. The Importance of Utopian Thinking
- 09. Art is Advertising for What We Really Need
- 10. Why the World Stands Ready to Be Changed
- 11. On the Desire to Change the World
- 12. Utopian Collective Pride
- 13. Envy of a Utopian Future
- 14. Utopian Artificial Intelligence
- 15. Utopian Education
- 16. Utopian Marriage
- 17. Utopian Film
- 18. Utopian Festivals
- 19. Utopian Culture
- 20. Utopian Business Consultancy
- 21. Utopian Media
- 22. Utopian Government
- 23. Utopian Capitalism
- 24. Utopian Celebrity Culture
- 25. Utopian Tax
- 26. The Future of the Banking Industry
- 27. The Future of the Communications Industry
- 28. The Future of the Hotel Industry