Self-Knowledge
How Hard It Is to Be Patient
Impatient people deserve special pity: not only do they have to suffer from their affliction, they also have to put…
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Sociability
The Challenges of Male Friendships
Men are lonely not through any specific deficiency on their part but because of an inherent conflict between what is required of being a man on the one hand and what is involved in being a friend on the other.
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Sociability
Why Introverts Are As They Are
We become introverted or extroverted as a result of particular experiences; it is our distinctive path through childhood that determines at which end of the spectrum we are going to fall.
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Sociability
The Boring Person
The boring person isn’t really boring; they are in manic flight from what is profoundly and agonisingly interesting in themselves.
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Self-Knowledge
The Futility of Seeking Closure
One of our most powerful longings, in relationships where we have suffered (by which we chiefly mean relationships with our…
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Relationships
In Love, Happiness May Need to Be Paid for in Agony
There is nothing more natural, at the start of love, than to seek out happiness. We scan a map and…
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Relationships
The Importance of Expressing Our Needs
It is tear-inducing just how much can go wrong in love because we have failed to master a basic-sounding yet…
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Sociability
On Not Being Able to Listen
We are, most of us, familiar with a particular kind of challenging human: the sort who seems unable to listen…
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Relationships
How We Can Eventually Move on From Heartbreak
At the core of heartbreak lies a particularly cruel belief: the belief in our departed lover’s profound uniqueness. In the…
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Relationships
Cures for Love
‘Cures for Love’ is the title of a self-help book written by the Roman poet Ovid in 2 AD that…
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Relationships
How Heartbreak Pushes Artists to Their Greatest Achievements
For all its many inconveniences and agonies, heartbreak appears to have a longstanding and curious power to push artists towards…
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Self-Knowledge
The Theory of Triangulation
‘Triangulation’ is a term used in psychoanalysis to refer to the way in which someone can be drawn to repeatedly…
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Select themes
Self-Knowledge
The Futility of Seeking Closure
One of our most powerful longings, in relationships where we have suffered (by which we chiefly mean relationships with our…
View
Relationships
In Love, Happiness May Need to Be Paid for in Agony
There is nothing more natural, at the start of love, than to seek out happiness. We scan a map and…
View
Relationships
The Importance of Expressing Our Needs
It is tear-inducing just how much can go wrong in love because we have failed to master a basic-sounding yet…
View
Sociability
On Not Being Able to Listen
We are, most of us, familiar with a particular kind of challenging human: the sort who seems unable to listen…
View
Relationships
How We Can Eventually Move on From Heartbreak
At the core of heartbreak lies a particularly cruel belief: the belief in our departed lover’s profound uniqueness. In the…
View
Relationships
Cures for Love
‘Cures for Love’ is the title of a self-help book written by the Roman poet Ovid in 2 AD that…
View
Relationships
How Heartbreak Pushes Artists to Their Greatest Achievements
For all its many inconveniences and agonies, heartbreak appears to have a longstanding and curious power to push artists towards…
View
Self-Knowledge
The Theory of Triangulation
‘Triangulation’ is a term used in psychoanalysis to refer to the way in which someone can be drawn to repeatedly…
View
