Relationships
The Courage to Love Again
It’s odd, surely, to use the word ‘courage’ – the thing you need in air raid shelters and cancer wards…
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Emotional Skills
Giving Up on People Pleasing
The people pleaser needs to learn an unusual and little-mentioned art: that of giving up on people.
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Emotional Skills
The Benefits of Forgetfulness
We are rescued from many of our sorrows not by active solutions or nifty work of the intellect but by our reliable tendencies to forget.
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Relationships
Leaving in Search of a Worse Relationship
Common sense dictates that people leave relationships because they wish, in essence, to find someone better: someone better able to…
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Relationships
On Seeing an Ex’s Profile on a Dating App
There will have been versions of this in other eras, of course. Seeing their name on the board for the…
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Sociability
Eight Rules for Friendship
A Community Dedicated to Learning the Art of Friendship We are inclined to think that the secret of great friendship…
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Self-Knowledge
How All Meanness Is Inherited
When someone is mean to us without good cause – pushes us away cruelly in love, bullies us at work,…
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Relationships
The Repetition Compulsion
One of the most remarkable ideas in the history of psychoanalysis is to be found in Freud’s 1920 paper ‘Beyond…
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Self-Knowledge
Why We Become Unable to Protect Ourselves
There are people who, in most walks of life, are extremely canny and highly able to look after themselves. They…
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Relationships
Beware Those We Fall in Love With
The word ‘madness’ tends to bring to mind distinctly lurid and macabre associations: psychiatric wards, staring eyes, murder weapons, hideous…
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Self-Knowledge
Mental Illness and Love
When we speculate on the causes of mental illness, we typically imagine some form of chemical imbalance or damage to…
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