Relationships
Leaving in Search of a Worse Relationship
Common sense dictates that people leave relationships because they wish, in essence, to find someone better: someone better able to…
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Calm
On Feeling Manic
Many of us are prone to slip into states of mind we might call ‘manic’ – in which we run obsessively and at high speed away from something within us that asks for our attention and yet feels intolerably raw and overwhelming.
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Calm
Might I Be Feeling Lonely Rather Than Worried?
We might ask a question of our mood that sounds deliberately and provocatively strange: Might I principally, at heart, be lonely rather than worried?
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Calm
The Ecstatic Joy We Deny Ourselves
What if we didn’t always have to be as sad and as anxious as we usually are? What if we surrendered to loving and to being loved?
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Relationships
On Seeing an Ex’s Profile on a Dating App
There will have been versions of this in other eras, of course. Seeing their name on the board for the…
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Sociability
Eight Rules for Friendship
A Community Dedicated to Learning the Art of Friendship We are inclined to think that the secret of great friendship…
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Self-Knowledge
How All Meanness Is Inherited
When someone is mean to us without good cause – pushes us away cruelly in love, bullies us at work,…
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Relationships
The Repetition Compulsion
One of the most remarkable ideas in the history of psychoanalysis is to be found in Freud’s 1920 paper ‘Beyond…
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Self-Knowledge
Why We Become Unable to Protect Ourselves
There are people who, in most walks of life, are extremely canny and highly able to look after themselves. They…
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Relationships
Beware Those We Fall in Love With
The word ‘madness’ tends to bring to mind distinctly lurid and macabre associations: psychiatric wards, staring eyes, murder weapons, hideous…
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Self-Knowledge
Mental Illness and Love
When we speculate on the causes of mental illness, we typically imagine some form of chemical imbalance or damage to…
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Relationships
Two Emotional Skills That Save Relationships
Behind every relationship that endures, we can identify two ingredients. Firstly, an ability to break bad news well. Successful lovers…
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