{"id":1347,"date":"2019-08-27T11:35:00","date_gmt":"2019-08-27T11:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theschooloflife.com\/paris\/blog\/2019\/08\/27\/test-ultimate-de-maturite-emotionnelle\/"},"modified":"2022-10-18T11:16:51","modified_gmt":"2022-10-18T11:16:51","slug":"test-ultimate-de-maturite-emotionnelle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theschooloflife.com\/paris\/blog\/test-ultimate-de-maturite-emotionnelle\/","title":{"rendered":"Test Ultime de Maturit\u00e9 Emotionnelle"},"content":{"rendered":"

L\u2019\u00eatre humain est \u00e9tonnant car son d\u00e9veloppement \u00e9motionnel n\u2019est ni automatiquement, ni n\u00e9cessairement li\u00e9 \u00e0 son d\u00e9veloppement physique. Il est possible d\u2019avoir un corps de 55 ans et une mentalit\u00e9 de 4 ans et demi (en termes de r\u00e9flexes et de comp\u00e9tences de communication). De m\u00eame, quelqu\u2019un sur le seuil de l\u2019\u00e2ge adulte peut d\u00e9j\u00e0 \u00eatre un \u00ab\u00a0vieux sage\u00a0\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Afin d\u2019\u00e9valuer le niveau de d\u00e9veloppement \u00e9motionnel, il existe une question \u00e0 la simplicit\u00e9 trompeuse.<\/p>\n

Lorsque quelqu\u2019un sur qui nous d\u00e9pendons \u00e9motionnellement nous d\u00e9\u00e7oit, comment r\u00e9agissons-nous ?<\/p>\n

De mani\u00e8re g\u00e9n\u00e9rale, trois r\u00e9actions sugg\u00e8rent l\u2019immaturit\u00e9 \u00e9motionnelle (vous pourriez vous noter sur une \u00e9chelle de 1 \u00e0 10 pour vous \u00e9valuer).<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Bouder.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Attrist\u00e9s, nous refusons d\u2019expliquer \u00e0 la personne qui nous a fait de la peine ce qui nous a fait mal. Notre fiert\u00e9 \u00e9tant douloureusement insult\u00e9e, la priorit\u00e9 est de pr\u00e9server la dignit\u00e9 qu\u2019il nous reste. Nous nous sentons trop fragiles pour admettre avoir \u00e9t\u00e9 bless\u00e9s. Comme un enfant qui ne maitriserait pas encore le langage esp\u00e8re qu\u2019un parent puisse lire dans ses pens\u00e9es pour subvenir \u00e0 ses besoins, nous esp\u00e9rons na\u00efvement que l\u2019autre comprendra comme par magie et r\u00e9soudra le tort sans que nous ayons besoin de le lui expliquer.<\/p>\n

    2. S\u2019\u00e9nerver.<\/p>\n

    Nous piquons une col\u00e8re noire et nous \u00e9nervons furieusement contre celle\/celui qui nous a d\u00e9\u00e7u. La furie a beau nous donner des airs de puissance, personne se sachant r\u00e9ellement fort n\u2019a besoin de se mettre dans des \u00e9tats pareils. Au fond, nous nous sentons cass\u00e9s, perdus et d\u00e9pourvus. Du coup, imiter un empereur contrari\u00e9 ou un tigre enferm\u00e9 nous semble le meilleur moyen de retrouver du contr\u00f4le. Nos insultes vicieuses sont en fait des aveux cod\u00e9s de terreur et de vuln\u00e9rabilit\u00e9. Notre douleur est profonde et poignante\u00a0; notre mani\u00e8re de la g\u00e9rer, path\u00e9tique.<\/p>\n

    3. Devenir froid.<\/p>\n

    Il faut beaucoup de courage pour admettre \u00e0 la personne qui nous a bless\u00e9 qu\u2019elle a du pouvoir sur nous et qu\u2019une partie clef de notre vie est entre ses mains. Dresser une muraille d\u2019indiff\u00e9rence semble parfois bien plus tentant. Lorsque nous nous sentons particuli\u00e8rement vuln\u00e9rable et sensible au comportement de l\u2019\u00eatre cher, nous insisterons n\u2019avoir rien remarqu\u00e9 et n\u2019en n\u2019avoir rien \u00e0 faire. Nous ne faisons pas forc\u00e9ment semblant\u00a0: rester \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9coute de ses blessures nous est peut \u00eatre devenu v\u00e9ritablement insupportable. Ne rien ressentir a bien pu remplacer l\u2019\u00e9norme menace de se sentir compl\u00e8tement en vie.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    A l\u2019inverse, les trois r\u00e9actions suivantes indiquent davantage de maturit\u00e9 \u00e9motionnelle.<\/p>\n

    1.\u00a0 S\u2019expliquer<\/p>\n

    Bien plus facile \u00e0 dire qu\u2019\u00e0 faire, \u00eatre capable de rallier le courage d\u2019expliquer \u00e0 la personne pourquoi elle nous a bless\u00e9 est un r\u00e9el accomplissement. Il s\u2019agit d\u2019avoir confiance en sa capacit\u00e9 de trouver les mots justes\u00a0; en le fait que nous ne sommes ni path\u00e9tiques ni mis\u00e9reux d\u2019en venir \u00e0 souffrir\u00a0; et, qu\u2019avec un peu de chance, nous parviendrons \u00e0 garder \u00e0 l\u2019esprit, m\u00eame dans ces moments de stress, que celui\/celle qui nous a bless\u00e9 n\u2019est pas notre ennemi.<\/p>\n

    2. Rester calme.<\/p>\n

    La personne m\u00fbre sait qu\u2019elle peut s\u2019affirmer et venir \u00e0 son propre renfort. Ceci la munit d\u2019une confiance apaisante, n\u00e9cessaire pour ne pas perdre ses moyens et se braquer. Ainsi ancr\u00e9e, elle peut accorder \u00e0 l\u2019autre le b\u00e9n\u00e9fice du doute, elle n\u2019a plus besoin de s\u2019attendre au pire et de riposter avec amertume. Les personnes matures s\u2019aiment assez pour ne pas supposer que le monde entier est contre eux.<\/p>\n

    3. Se montrer vuln\u00e9rable.<\/p>\n

    La personne m\u00fbre a accept\u00e9 le fait que l\u2019intimit\u00e9 est in\u00e9vitablement source de douleur, par moment. Toutefois, elle se sent assez forte pour tol\u00e9rer cette relation \u00e0 sa propre faiblesse. N\u2019ayant pas honte de sa nudit\u00e9 \u00e9motionnelle, elle saura demander de l\u2019aide, m\u00eame \u00e0 la personne par qui elle se serait sentie humili\u00e9e. Elle a confiance que ses larmes n\u2019ont rien d\u2019anormal, et qu\u2019elle a le droit de trouver quelqu\u2019un qui saura les g\u00e9rer.<\/p>\n

    En soit, ces trois traits constituent les vertus cardinales de la maturit\u00e9 \u00e9motionnelle : la Communication, la Confiance et la Vuln\u00e9rabilit\u00e9.<\/p>\n

    Ces trois vertus peuvent \u00eatre le r\u00e9sultat d\u2019une tendre et sage \u00e9ducation \u00e0 l\u2019enfance. Elles peuvent aussi \u00eatre cultiv\u00e9es par l\u2019adulte au cours d\u2019un apprentissage conscient et volontaire. La \u00ab\u00a0nuance d\u2019int\u00e9gration\u00a0\u00bb s\u2019apparente \u00e0 la nuance entre ceux qui apprennent une langue en grandissant et ceux qui doivent l\u2019apprendre en quelques mois \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e2ge adulte. Cette comparaison \u00e9voque la diff\u00e9rence d\u2019effort requis. Il est essentiel de se rappeler qu\u2019il n\u2019y a aucune raison d\u2019avoir honte de son niveau de comp\u00e9tence. La plupart d\u2019entre nous n\u2019avons pas eu le luxe d\u2019\u00eatre \u00e9motionnellement \u00ab\u00a0alphab\u00e9tis\u00e9s\u00a0\u00bb. Il est possible que nous n\u2019ayons jamais t\u00e9moign\u00e9 d\u2019adultes ayant des conversations \u00e9motionnellement m\u00fbres. Voil\u00e0 donc pourquoi nous ferions bien de retourner \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9cole, quelque soit notre \u00e2ge, \u00a0pour passer 5 \u00e0 10,000 heures \u00e0 apprendre, avec patience et confiance, la belle et complexe grammaire du langage \u00e9motionnel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1141,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[24,41,26],"class_list":["post-1347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all","tag-all","tag-communication","tag-soi"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTest Ultime de Maturit\u00e9 Emotionnelle - Paris<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theschooloflife.com\/paris\/blog\/test-ultimate-de-maturite-emotionnelle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Test Ultime de Maturit\u00e9 Emotionnelle - 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