You Are a Sound Sleeper
Sleeping well through the night is an immense psychological feat — for which you deserve to congratulate yourself. You’re sleeping well not because you’re doing the right amount of exercise (though you may be), but because you’ve been blessed (or have achieved) a certain optimal frame of mind.
Elements of your past predispose you towards a sense that things will — relatively — be OK; that tasks can wait until tomorrow, that you will be forgiven, that there is no need to feel guilty and that you are, broadly, a good person. Such things may seem remote from the issue of sleeping, but they are deeply connected with it. It’s one of the blessings of sleeping well that you have probably not thought too much about why others don’t sleep. However, knowing how much awkward psychology lies behind insomnia, you should be especially grateful for your restfulness and all the more inclined to sympathise with your bleary eyed companions, for whom every new night is both the source of the greatest longing and an occasion for renewed anxiety and regret.
If you’re interested in learning more about The School of Life’s approach to combating sleeplessness, our book Insomnia is available now. It’s a guide and companion to the restless early hours: helping you to reflect on, and ameliorate, the psychological factors behind your difficulty sleeping.
You Are Prone to Insomnia
You fall, as you probably suspected, in the more insomnia-prone category. This isn’t coincidental, and has little to do (in our eyes) with how much exercise you’re taking or herbal tea you’re drinking.
At The School of Life, we interpret insomnia primarily in psychological terms. For us, it has a lot to do with how much is going on in your mind. In particular, we see sleeplessness as a kind of revenge for all the thoughts – and feelings – you have somehow refused to have in the night. Bits of your self-awareness that you have shut off during daylight hours push themselves to the front of consciousness once your guard is relaxed, and then prompt you to wake up.
This immediately suggests one great salve for insomnia: more of a chance to reflect deeply and sympathetically on your life. Furthermore, a lot of insomnia is the result of a fretful agitated mindset, probably formed in your earliest years by those tasked with looking after you. You are not – we imagine – at the typically relaxed end of the spectrum. You may not have been soothed maximally as an infant. Life can seem a perilous affair: there is a lot to regret and a lot to fear – and therefore, unsurprisingly, the night may not bring the rest you crave. You might not even like yourself very much – and are therefore likely to be quite punitive towards yourself, and so reluctant to give yourself that ultimate treat: a deeply restful sleep.
None of these causes of insomnia is beyond treatment, but it may be that you are awake not because you have the wrong mattress or looked at your phone an hour before turning in, but because your mind is unusually punishing, ruthless and conscientious, for reasons that you deserve to investigate, with a friend, a therapist, or your own kindest self.
If you’re interested in learning more about The School of Life’s approach to combating sleeplessness, our book Insomnia is available now. It’s a guide and companion to the restless early hours: helping you to reflect on, and ameliorate, the psychological factors behind your difficulty sleeping.