Anyone we could marry would, of course, be a little wrong
for us. It is wise to be appropriately pessimistic here.
Perfection is not on the cards. Unhappiness is a constant.
Nevertheless, one encounters some couples of such primal,
grinding mismatch, such deep-seated incompatibility,...
One of the things that makes us fall in love with people is
realising they can do something we can't. We get attracted
to people who seem capable and at ease with parts of life in
which we struggle. Perhaps they are very...
It’s tempting to think of marriage as old fashioned. Why
not just live with someone and be done with it? What need
for a public ceremony? Why the weird traditions that people
normally keep away from: all those churches, temples, hymns,
vows and prayers?...
There are many nice things we want, but are somehow a little
scared of getting, because they are bound up with risks and
subtle inner complications we don't quite have a handle on:
we may - at some deep level - be scared...
There are sweet moments – early on in relationships –
when one person can’t quite work up the courage to let
another know just how much they like them. They’d love to
touch the other’s hand and find a place in their life;...
It sounds strange to ask what a novel might be for. We tend
not to wonder too much what role made-up stories should have
in our lives. Generally we suppose we just read them for
Yet that is to be unstrategic about a...
One of the ideals of modern relationships is that both
parties will be ‘good communicators’.
‘Communication’ is held to lie at the heart of a
But what is ‘communication’? It isn’t - of course -
merely talking. One wouldn’t count as a good...
One of the couple has been out all day: they’ve been to
three meetings, grappled with a failing supplier, cleared up
(hopefully) a misconception about tax rebates and sought to
bring the new CEO on side with a scheme for a client
Anyone of childbearing age will be surrounded by examples of
catastrophic parenting in their own and previous
generations. We hear no end of gruesome stories about
breakdowns and resentments, shame and addiction, chronic
failures of self-confidence and inabilities to form
satisfying relationships. And at the...
It used to be when you’d hit certain financial and social
milestones: when you had a home to your name, a set of
qualifications on the mantelpiece and a few cows and a
parcel of land in your possession.
But when, under the influence...
You’re flicking through a fashion magazine and playfully
suggest that your partner might want to make a few
experiments with their wardrobe. How about a different pair
of jeans or a new T-shirt, a duffle coat or platform heels?
But at the mention of...