Many of us feel that our societies are a little – or even
plain totally – ‘unfair’. But we have a hard time
explaining our sense of injustice to the powers that be in a
way that sounds rational and without personal pique...
Melanie Klein (1882-1960) was a highly creative and original
Viennese Jewish psychoanalyst who discovered the work of
Freud at the age of 26 and devoted her life to enriching and
nuancing it in intriguing and valuable ways. She is perhaps
best remembered today for...
How do you build a better world? There are so many
well-known, urgent places you might start: malaria, carbon
emissions, tax evasion, the drug trade, soil erosion, water
Donald Winnicott deserves his place in history because of
the dramatic simplicity of his approach. He...
Cookery books swamp us with recipes, most of which we never
cook. We've created a new tool - Food as Therapy - which
starts from the opposite pole. How we feel on a particular
evening, and what we set about cooking in response...
Anyone we could marry would, of course, be a little wrong
for us. It is wise to be appropriately pessimistic here.
Perfection is not on the cards. Unhappiness is a constant.
Nevertheless, one encounters some couples of such primal,
grinding mismatch, such deep-seated incompatibility,...
One of the things that makes us fall in love with people is
realising they can do something we can't. We get attracted
to people who seem capable and at ease with parts of life in
which we struggle. Perhaps they are very...
It’s tempting to think of marriage as old fashioned. Why
not just live with someone and be done with it? What need
for a public ceremony? Why the weird traditions that people
normally keep away from: all those churches, temples, hymns,
vows and prayers?...
There are many nice things we want, but are somehow a little
scared of getting, because they are bound up with risks and
subtle inner complications we don't quite have a handle on:
we may - at some deep level - be scared...
There are sweet moments – early on in relationships –
when one person can’t quite work up the courage to let
another know just how much they like them. They’d love to
touch the other’s hand and find a place in their life;...
It sounds strange to ask what a novel might be for. We tend
not to wonder too much what role made-up stories should have
in our lives. Generally we suppose we just read them for
Yet that is to be unstrategic about a...
One of the ideals of modern relationships is that both
parties will be ‘good communicators’.
‘Communication’ is held to lie at the heart of a
But what is ‘communication’? It isn’t - of course -
merely talking. One wouldn’t count as a good...